The largest challenge for me was figuring out how much milk I needed to pump each day so that Aya would have enough for the following day at our neighbors. My lactation specialist said the amount I pump should be a pretty good indicator of what Aya would take at any given feeding, but our neighbor told me she felt as though Aya was needing more. We had explained to her ahead of time how important it was that Aya only receive my milk, but I also wanted to make sure our caregiver felt as though she could meet Aya's needs throughout the day. We suspected Aya wasn't actually hungry after she finished her bottle, but cried out of a desire to suck longer, not hunger. We had also learned many babies will take in far more milk than they actually need from a bottle because it comes so quickly and easily. We started using a special bottle recommended by our lactation specialist because it most closely mimics what happens while a baby breastfeeds. The slower flowing bottle did seem to help, but in the end we had to compromise. I wasn't able to pump as much milk as our sitter might have preferred, but I did pump a bit extra each day so she felt comfortable. Following the guidelines here, and confirming with my lactation specialist, gave me confidence and reassurance I was giving Aya enough to eat while I was away.
Another interesting thing that happened when I went back to work was that suddenly my Aya, who had been sleeping 6-7 hour stretches during the wee hours of the night, started getting up every 3 like she had when she was a newborn. My friend wisely explained Aya had sensed this change in routine and simply needed to wake more often to be close. At first, I fought this new pattern and didn't want it to happen. I missed those longer nights and felt I needed them even more now that I was working again. However, after I listened to my body's instinct to feed her, and ignored the strategic plan in my head on how to get her to sleep for longer stretches, I began to embrace those night feedings with less frustration. Remarkably, I didn't even feel as though my interrupted sleep affected my energy levels very much during the day. I still felt alert, healthy and relatively rested. It was different, but it worked, and I was thriving. My lactation specialist also sent me this article about night waking that helped me see my situation in a new light. She beautifully said she believes when babies come into the world they teach us a new kind of love that wouldn't be possible without them. "They have lessons to teach us," she said.
Finally, in regards to night waking, it helped me to understand that sometimes our cultural or individual expectations may be influencing how we see and feel about nurturing and nourishing our baby through the night. Sometimes after a night of frequent wakings and nursing, my husband wisely says, "She had a big day yesterday." I need these reminders often to continue to recognize Aya's needs to be close to her mom on and off throughout the night.
Here are two articles about cultural differences and breastfeeding that helped me recognize my own ideas about breastfeeding.
A biocultural approach to breastfeeding
These articles have very helpful information for the working mom. They address pumping concerns, milk expression questions, and bottle over-feeding.
These articles have very helpful information for the working mom. They address pumping concerns, milk expression questions, and bottle over-feeding.
