During our struggle to work out breastfeeding Aya, I became increasingly protective of our nursing relationship. In the process, I also became increasingly defensive when someone suggested I try some different alternatives to simply feeding my baby from the breasts. We heard lots of things.
How about you pump all of your milk and then give her it in a bottle?
Try this bottle--it says it ends colic!
It sounds like she is swallowing a lot of air while she feeds and I bet that is causing her gas.
We could try formula and see how she does on it.
Maybe your milk isn't good quality.
Oh, it was so hard to listen. Anytime someone tried to offer a gentle suggestion to help I felt my body tighten and grow hot and frustrated. I didn't want to believe that anything but my own body could feed my baby best, but at the same time I knew that breastfeeding at this time was not making Aya (or me) happy. It felt very personal and I felt very violated when a suggestion crossed over from an onlooker and into the arms of my breastfeeding baby. The space between my chest and baby felt like a sacred, vulnerable space that shouldn't be touched no matter how well meaning the person was. Yet, I know everyone was only trying to lovingly help because they knew how upset I was.
I hadn't expected to feel this way, but I did. I think all mothers who want to exclusively breastfeed their baby have felt like this in some way or another. Or, they have felt this way about other decisions they have made as a mother. It takes a person who is secure in their own decisions to hear suggestions in the way they were intended. I just wasn't there yet.
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