During our early struggle to work out breastfeeding, I was very sensitive when people made suggestions about how to make it better, especially if it was a suggestion to use alternatives to breastfeeding. Looking back, I realize I was defensive because I thought I could be good or bad at breastfeeding. I wanted to be good at it, not struggling.
Now, I don't believe you can be good or bad at breastfeeding. You can be knowledgeable, flexible and sensitive to your babies needs, but I don't think it is something that can be graded. I looked at my breastfeeding as something that could be evaluated and assessed--and if I was good at it I felt I could be proud. This kind of thinking wasn't helpful for me. I needed to know breastfeeding isn't about being good or bad at it. It is about lovingly caring for your baby. It is about a relationship that nourishes, nurtures, protects, calms and embraces your child. You can't be good or bad at it, and one breastfeeding relationship can't be compared to the next. At its core it is good, no matter how difficult it can be. There isn't a plaque for nursing mothers that says, World's Best, or a certificate to win at an award ceremony. If only I had realized this lie I believed sooner.
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